It might not be a question you openly admit you think about, but to a degree we all do. When I ask new clients why they want to lose weight, their answers, whether they realize it or not, show how reliant they are on what other people think of them.
They want self-confidence. They want to like their body. They want to be accepting of who they are and what they look like.
These goals tend to be side effects of cultural pressures. Whether those pressures are real, or if they are a result of our own perspective, is beside the point. The point is we care and it creates a struggle.
The Choice Is Yours
Perspective is an interesting thing. It practically drives all of our behaviors. And it influences our goals and outcomes.
When you like and accept yourself, you take better care of yourself. That, in turn, creates a positive side effect with your body.
The best part is that this acceptance is your choice. No one can take it from you and no one can give it to you.
You have to decide.
And when you do decide to accept yourself as you are right now, other people will too. After all, if you don’t respect your body, why would you expect anyone else to?
If you respect your body then stand up for it – appreciate it.
But I Still Want to Lose Weight!
The way you look and the way you think of yourself are not one-in-the-same. Your appearance and your body image are two different goals that need to be worked on together.
Too many people assume that once they lose weight they will be happy. They will finally like themselves and accept the way they look.
But they won’t. They will just find something else to be critical about.
I’ve been there and I’ve worked with enough people to see that the body image struggle continues, whether you have a six pack or not, if you don’t work on that goal concurrently.
I’ve worked with fitness competitors who have many people’s ideal physiques. Yet they are still miserable. They hate their bodies.
They’ve taken their critical mindset and brought it along for the ride. While they once hated some cellulite, they now are focused on the 3mm pinch of fat hidden in plain site where only they can see it.
If you want to stop worrying about what other people think, and instead make this lifestyle change for you, then you have to make the choice to accept yourself from day one.
Doing this takes the power out of others’ hands and gives it back to you. Your thoughts are yours. You can do what you want with them.
You can decide to like your body while also wanting to change your appearance. Those two goals can coexist.
It’s called self-confidence for a reason. It’s not called others-confidence.
It’s time to let go of the dependency on others to give you your self worth. Everything you need to be happy, accepting, and confident is already with you.
You just have to choose to see it.
Retrain your brain. Rewire your thinking patterns. The more you practice seeing yourself differently, the more you will believe what you tell yourself.
And with self acceptance comes self care. And through self care comes transformation.